The Holistic Treatment Soup

Breast cancer with liver metastases. It was like a death sentence for Seema. The prognosis was poor and the expected suffering, considerable, but she decided to give it a good fight. After multiple consultations and tests, she found a good, kind oncologist, who took her through five cycles of a rigorous chemotherapy regime. Three months later the lump in her breast disappeared and the liver metastases regressed.
Seema threw a small party for her friends and family. As the party started drawing to a close, many of her close friends and family gravitated into a circle around Seema, drawn together by their relationships with her and their contributions to her well being. A friend of hers, Nikita, who had just come down from London, was being introduced to all of them.
Nikita: It is a miracle, isn’t it. The statistics were all against her, but she made it.
Uncle 1: Obviously. I spent days with her, performing reiki, channeling the universal life force energy over her body to drive away and kill the cancer cells. I even made my grandmaster perform long-distance reiki from Japan.
Uncle 2: If you say so, but I think it was my pranic healing that healed her. I used the chakras in my palm to revitalize her energy field. I even did advanced pranic healing using violet and electric violet energy instead of the usual white energy to realign her bioplasmic energy, which in turn healed her physical body.
Uncle 3: How can mere energy work! It is my urine therapy that cured her. I taught her how to drink her own urine first thing in the morning each day. She is not the first case of cancer cured by urine therapy.
Nikita: Yechh!
Uncle 3: There is nothing yechh about this. Urine has been used therapeutically in India for centuries and can cure everything from constipation to cancer. It even helps patients with AIDS. It is a sterile substance that contains thousands of nutrients; the only thing to be careful about is that the urine drunk should be a proper, clean mid-stream sample, collected first thing in the morning.
Aunt 1: Bull. What really helped is the magical leaf that I placed on her breast with a mudpack everyday. The lady who gave it to me told me that her own breast cancer fell out when she used it. Seema is just the last of many patients to benefit from this treatment.
Brother-in-law: I think it is my acupressure that worked. Pressing on a particular point on the foot is supposed to make cancers go away. And I think Seema quite enjoyed those daily massages. Eh, Seema?
Aunt 2: And what about my water-therapy? I made her drink eight cups of water every day in the morning; all that water must have drowned the cancer cells. It has been proved beyond doubt that hydrotherapy can treat hypertension, diabetes, hemorrhoids, stress and cancer.

Poof! The warm-water baths that I made her have are responsible for her cure. Sitting cross-legged in a basin and applying warm water over one’s body is supposed to drive away negative energy. That is exactly what happened; the negative cancer disappeared.
Distant uncle: What has actually worked is the powder from Santu Baba in Umerkhadi, which I had asked her to eat after lunch every day. It is a very powerful herbal, natural medicine that has cured a large number of patients with cancers the world over. Don’t you remember Seema’s cousin’s father-in-law with stomach cancer who is still alive after taking this powder?
And this went on.
One man, with a slight bemused expression on his face, remained silent throughout. When Nikita noticed this, she jokingly asked.
Didn’t you contribute anything to her remission?
Silent man: I am not sure. I am just her oncologist.

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