A few weeks ago, much was made in the papers about a high-profile businessman who quietly stood in line at a wedding reception when he could easily have cut the line. Honestly, these stories are nothing but sops meant to con us into believing that the super-rich are still human. But that’s not the point!
The real issue is…why was there a line in the first place!
Run with me here!
When you are invited to a wedding reception (unless you are part of the family or a very close friend, in which case this line of reasoning doesn’t apply), it is because the invitee wants you to bless the newly wedded couple.
Think about it! You have been invited to bless the couple. In other words, the couple has asked you to come and shower your blessings on them…so that hopefully they will get to their 2nd or 5th or whatever milestone is celebrated these days to mark a successful marriage.
Then…why in hell should you have to stand in line to give your blessings? You stand in line when you want to be blessed by your Gods and Ganpatidadas. A wedding reception perhaps is the only time when the blessee is so blessed that the blesser has to stand in line to bless the blessee. Seriously! What sense does this make!
Which is why there is dinner (and sometimes hopefully booze as well) during receptions, isn’t it! To compensate you for the time you have spent standing in line to give your blessing. In other words, the blesser here is being bribed with an offering to patiently wait for his turn…while the other blessers are being recorded on video or stills for posterity.
Which effectively means that you can cut the line, but then you can’t really have dinner because you haven’t earned it. If you are going to have dinner, you have to stand in line. The worst sacrilege is to have dinner and then go away without blessing the couple…I have seen people go up to the stage, look at the watch, say hello to the parents or whoever has invited them and then just coolly walk away…after having had dinner and ice-cream and if available, the whiskey!
If you still don’t want to stand in line even after having had dinner, because you truly believe that your blessing is worth way more than one measly buffet plate, then the smartest way is to cut the line without seeming to cut it. I like the “ambling” method the best. When you see a long line, you ask your spouse to stand in line and then “amble” along the line up to the stage, as if taking a short walk to loosen your limbs in anticipation of the blessings that you have to bestow. You then “find” a friend or relative you haven’t seen in years, start chatting him up, all the time moving along in the line, until you suddenly “realize” that you have reached the stage. When you apologize and try to move away, your friend will insist that you accompany him up the stage…at which time you can ask your spouse to join you.
Don’t you then just love Christian weddings, where you sit at a table, drinking, eating and making merry while the couple takes the trouble to come and seek your blessings?
Hopefully one day, everyone will start doing the same! Until then, there’s the dinner plate on one side and the line to the stage on the other! And you can’t do one without the other!