Holidays Sans-Children, Sans-Friends

In this week of Jab Tak Hain Jaan, Son of Sardar and Ek Tiger Bimaar, it is good to be out of the city and in the Himalayas.

I love my kids. They are generally obedient, fun to be with and at an age where they can take reasonable care of themselves. Holidays with them are filled with great moments that in later years we will look back fondly upon, perhaps with the aid of photographs to help refresh our partly Alzheimeric brains.

Once in a while though it is good to be out without them. This week we were able to send them off with their cousins to another cousin’s place, while we managed to get away to an adults-only resort (that’s true…kids below 14 are not allowed). Imagine…no shouting, no bawling, no out-of-control children coming in your way or wanting attention, no loud parents shouting after them and no hordes of kiddie families fighting for food or the table-tennis table. And the adults are also better behaved (meaning more civilized and nice) when there are no kids around.

A little time-out helps. I am sure it helps the kids as well to be on their own, away from their ever-nagging parents just waiting to say “No” at the slightest of their whiny wants, free to indulge in whatever activity they are capable of, without having to adhere to their usual set schedules and routines.

It also helps parents like us to chill, not having to bother whether the kids have eaten well, have had their baths, are behaving themselves, not getting into trouble and most importantly are adequately occupied. During most vacations, all of these tasks pretty much fall on one or the other parent (usually the mother), which effectively takes away her ability to relax and spend some time on her own.

Some parents actually just give up. In many hotels and during excursions, you can see this…kids let loose, wild, doing whatever they want, the parents sitting on their own, with an “I don’t care what they do now” attitude, having abdicated all responsibility. I saw this during the flight on Monday, when a young mother, traveling with her maid and child had already given up at the very start of her vacation, refusing to tell her wandering and out-of-control kid anything…it was all left to the maid and the airline staff.

Apart from not having to bother about the kids, an adult-only holiday also helps the relationship. The absence of kids and other friends takes away all excuses and escape routes…you have to interact with each other…and while a vacation like this also helps rekindle some of the earlier passion…more importantly, you get to talk and listen to each other…again!

I have a friend who can’t imagine what it is like to go on a holiday just as a couple without other friends or a large group. Two days back, we met another DINK couple on its own, claiming to be bored within 3 hours of coming to the resort. I find this difficult to comprehend! If I had a few days of doing nothing, chilling near the poolside, reading, getting massaged, conversing with my spouse, taking long walks and some short or long runs, dining, listening to the birds or the ocean…what more does one want from a vacation? Why does one have to be with friends and kids all the time?

While holidays with kids are fun as are holidays with friends…holidays without kids and friends should also be closely cherished and treasured and fiercely guarded and fought for!

15 Comments

  • Bhavin: Good idea in deed. Unfortunately, we (self & Mrs.) have reached an age threshold,
    where we have crossed this golden time :-) I do like your idea, immensely, as I am a great fan of yours and the idea does have huge merit. Congratulations, yet again.
    Happy week-end. Regards: Sugata

  • Pushpendra Shah wrote:

    Also known as .
    I do hope that it is okay to share the whole write-up with the link, Bhavin…

  • Pushpendra Shah wrote:

    Also known as HONEYMOON.

  • Absolutely agree , me and Bhushan try to take ,our own little break every year ,and those are the best days of year beyond doubt .

  • Second Honeymoon? Enjoy….

  • Vasumathi Sriganesh wrote:

    These are must-dos (of course, if one has people one can leave the kids with). We’ve done such holidays more than once and I agree – it is great both for the parents and for the kids. I used to find it very funny when one old neighbour told me “I cannot live without my son for a day”. I always thought – “She really does not know how to live life and that poor kid is never going to know that either” :)

  • Bhavin Jankharia wrote:

    Pushpendra…go ahead.

  • bombaites are workoholics and try to learn to relax also it is worth trying to have few days off doing nothing in your own house one can relax no phone no visitors etc

  • I don’t have kids and don’t regret it at all though I love children, but raising them….. well I leave it to the able parents.What I really appreciate is your honesty inspite of being a parent.It is not only parents on vacation who let their children loose.In most of the restaurants and other public places we see this happening…kids running around yelling,jumping on the seats with their shoes on…Wish the parents understand that discipline is also a part of raising children,not just feeding,clothing and giving them iphones.

  • Bhavin This works for the children too. I wonder what Sachh and Sana would fell about on their vacation without the parents!

  • Bhavin Jankharia wrote:

    S & S will be back Sunday – they too I am sure are having a great time

  • jamna varadhachary wrote:

    Absolutely. When the kids were young we used to pack them off to their grandparents. A win win situation. They looked forward to having them and we got our “just us” time Actually, it was very common for parents to send kids to the village or wherever the grandparents lived. I can tell you. Mine enjoyed it a lot.

  • Rohit Gosalia wrote:

    Which is this resort? Would like to plan one of these days…

  • Bhavin Jankharia wrote:

    Ananda in the Himalayas

  • Armaity Surendra Patel wrote:

    We have passed the age of honeymooning, and now we happily baby sit our grandchildren!
    We love to hve them around ! ages bet 16 and 5 !!! Ha, Ha!

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