Break Free!

The Association of Two-Wheeler Users of India (ATWUI) has just adopted this new manifesto in their recently concluded annual general body meeting.
1. Ditch the helmets
There is no need for us to wear helmets. If a policeman tries to stop us, we should just speed away. Most traffic policemen are anyway on foot and can’t follow us and if they are fast enough to note down our registration numbers, at the most we will get “challans” by post, which we can sort out later.
There is no data to suggest that helmets help, given the low rate of accidents in our country. We are not like the Western world where they ride bikes at 200 km/hr. At our speed of 20 km/hr, nothing happens. Not only that, when we fall with our helmets on, it is the helmets that hurt us more than anything else.
More importantly, helmets add to the weight we carry on our two-wheelers, in turn causing increased fuel consumption. In these days of global warming, not wearing helmets is perhaps the best way to help the country go green.
In the end, we all know that the use of helmets is entirely a way for helmet-makers to make money in collusion with Government officials. We must all take inspiration from Anna Hazare and his anti-corruption movement. Not wearing a helmet is the best form of protest.
2. Do not stop at signals
It is dangerous to stop at signals. We never know when a car or truck will fail to stop in time and slam into us. Even if there is traffic coming from all sides or towards us, two-wheelers are small enough to allow us to navigate our way through. Remember, the best riders are those who can skillfully cut their way through any kind of traffic.
All traffic jams occur only because of cars and trucks. By stopping at signals we only add to the chaos. We can improve car and truck traffic discipline by leaving the signals free for them and by not interfering with the rules they have to follow.
3. One-way signs are not for us
Remember. When we ride along with the flow of traffic, cars and trucks can sideswipe us any time and force us into the gutter or onto the footpath. If we ride in the opposite direction, facing the oncoming traffic, we can easily see what is coming at us, which usually gives us enough time to take evasive action to prevent accidents.
The same logic applies to riding on the opposite side of the road when there are no dividers.
And once in a while, there is no harm trying out the footpaths themselves, especially during traffic-jams. People in any case prefer to walk on the roads.
4. Never stick to one lane while riding!
If we ride in a straight line, the car or truck next to us is often tempted to cut in front of us. We should always ride in a zigzag manner so they can never figure out our next move.
5. Drive on Expressways!
What is the point of having bikes, if we can’t race them once in a while! Since we can’t all go on hunger fasts to protest these rules, the next best thing to do is to ride in groups on all expressways, even if we are not supposed to. If we are fast enough, it is unlikely that anyone will be able to stop or catch us.
It is time that we two-wheeler users break free of all the traffic rules that shackle us!

5 Comments

  • You may find this interesting…
    It seems my mobile is suffering from Alzheimer disease. Every now and then it starts endless video recording. But this madness proved to be an asset. The other day we decided to go to the Gate-way-of-india for spending the evening. The pot holes of Mumbai are like ringworm infections. It vanishes on dry day but returns in damp & rainy atmospheres. From Deshmukh to Chavan to Chavan three CMs have changed but the Pot holes remain where they have been for the last ten years. For compromising one pot hole near Mumbai Central turning , just before JJ flyover I skirted my vehicle towards right and then straightened towards left. A traffic police came running , stopped me and demanded my license – told me that I have cut lane.
    ‘It’s the pot hole which is cutting lane – not me’.
    ‘Sir you have to submit your license , I will give you a receipt. Tomorrow from the ‘chouki’ you can collect your license after paying the fine’.
    ‘How come I’ve to come tomorrow for my license ?’, I demanded.
    ‘I don’t have the fees book with me, that is available at the chouki’, The man said quite rudely.
    ‘Gentleman, that’s your problem not mine, take fine and let me go’, I ordered .
    He put the license in his pocket and was about to write on the yellow worn out book. I said , ‘you are monitoring traffic here at this junction. You have stopped me for lane cutting and now you say that you don’t have fees book for giving me receipt of my fine, I’ve to come to this bloody pot-holed place again tomorrow for paying fine and getting back my license. This whole thing is not understandable’.
    ‘It’s upto you, whether you want to get your license back or not but if you don’t push off right now we will tow your vehicle from here’, He paused and looked at me.
    I was looking helplessly at my mobile when I discovered that it was on another fits of video recording mode. I took out the phone and hold towards the arrogant man. He was in the frame now. I stopped and played it back.
    He was little off balance at the clear reproduction of his own voice.
    I said, ‘ All our conversations have been video recorded here. You face & road is very neatly picked up . If something is fishy now then tomorrow you will be in soup’.
    He paused, and then handed over my license and told me to go. He even told me how to go to the Gate-way right.
    I understand this is one of the Mumbai traffic police’s typical way of threatening common man to fall back in their trap and then end up paying bribe.
    My lucky phone has saved me today.

  • they do all that anyway !!

  • I can see the underlying frustration one feels while driving on road in Mumbai Bombai Bombay, whatever, does it matter? But remember that two wheeler are single biggest destroyer of home after suburban railways in Mumbai. They take away the life of young people, wage earners, but sadly neither our leaders nor the people seem to be concerned about this sorry state of affairs.

  • Good article, love the dripping sarcasm. You should write another one about pedestrians. They are like zombies, blindly walking across the middle of the road regardless of approaching vehicles. Sometimes these zombies even ride autos and bikes.

  • lolzzzz Sounds Funny and Serious
    I agree with your views and I feel Bike riding is dangerous and if bike rider not follow rules then it is most dangerous… On roads some time people who follow rules also suffer from mistakes((who break rules) made by other people …so it is not just about following rules by one person…
    friend of mine who love to ride bike and love to discover new roads on bike told me “death can catch us anytime, Why Do You Fear Death (while riding bike)?”
    I told him I far because I saw body without head, person with one leg, (after surgery) Person with Rod in both legs, now he can’t walk well he have to do surgery again n again after 5 or 8 years… All this are victims of bike accidents…. I am confidence I can ride well but how can u take guarenty of other people, they can harm you or cause you accident..It is very painful when one person suffer without any mistake
    I am sure most of bike ridder knows maximum harm from bike riding if they not follow rules on roads and still they are ok with it then they are “Brave” people
    I would like to suggest 6th Point
    6)Bravery Award
    if any biker Injured/Die in bike accident then he is eligible for “Bravery Award”
    ….because most of biker have half characteristic which “Brave” person have…. they do not have fear of death.. it is diffrent thing that Biker sometime die for no reason

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